this is it

this is my blog and i cant rant whatever i want to.
this blog is supposed to share my happy moments.
not the bitter side of me.

somehow i find myself writing lots n lots of emo posts. which is so not healthy.
maybe its because whenever i feel so happy i would be too busy being happy that i dont find the need to sit down in front of my lappie and start talking bout happy things! cuz i can do much more fun things rather than sitting quietly and typing.

as for today i am going through the same exact feeling.

God is fair.

fair the sense that i had lotsa of happy moments ever since 5weeks ago when i landed in the land of the roos but also had my share of days when i feel so sad being here.

fair in the sense that i make lots of new and great friends but sadly, i think i am losing one or maybe some of people i used to adore.

fair in the sense that i am always surrounded by great people that make me feel so special and that my presence matters to them but at time, even when i am surrounded by people i felt that i am all alone.

i am not trying to sell some self pity here.

i am not going to go around and suck it all up just cuz some stupid idioms said that " when life gives u lemon, u make lemonade out of it".

i want to. but i think i had enough of lemonade.
i am refusing the lemon now.

thank you for all the juice and the sourness that u have given me.

this is it.

i need some strawberries. or anything sweet.

playing with emotions

i think im emotionally comlicated person.

one minute i was happily studying and revising my japanese.

the next minute, i am all sad and moody.

as i sit here, in from of my laptop who proably hates me too cuz it keeps misbehaving and restart and hang whenever it feels like doing so, im SAD.

ask me why and i really cant answer that.

i tried hard to catch up with my feelings and try to give myself a good solid reason so that i dont feel so dumb for emo-ing here.

Q : What cause Yvonne to be sad?
a) home sick.
b) food sick.
c) love sick.
d) dont know.

A : d) dont know.

i really dont know. *major sigh

ok. i feel really stupid now.

B for Bunny & Boo!

*all the bunnies at my house on the 3rd day of CNY*

BUNNY NEW YEAR CAME AND IS NOW GONE!


BOO to that! *sulking

this means that i am leaving malaysia real soon. =(

desperate

desperate is not yours sincerely.

desperate are those lil' cute pieces of clothes and dresses in my closet.
*sigh*
they are all screaming out to be me wear them! =(

as i sit alone tonight pondering what has become of my life.
i kinda realized that they were kinda dull & boring. at least they are now in this small little hometown of mine where ppl seems to pass comments that may not always be pleasing to the ears when they see a young lady dressing up. =='''

by dressing up here is to go our in something that spells fashion. as though i am fashionable but at least i ahve my own sense of dressing well, people say as long as you are happy that should do it.*shifty eyes*

i feel depressed thinking how i used to be able to go out & most of all get to dress up. putting make up on does not seemed to be a problem back during my days in penang. going out with your hair done..heels & a nice dress seems normal! *gasp*

but here..in sitiawan...going out dressing up like that to the most high end supermarket ( Giant. yes. u heard me right ) that would not only look crazy..that would sound crazy! :O

i think my clothes are crying with me too!

just the other day..i wore something which i would not call nice or even pretty cuz i think they look pretty normal...a tank top with a leggings to go out shopping for groceries with my parents & my mum asked " why are you wearing so nice out? you are in Sitiawan." well..need i say more? haha...

dun get me wrong...i love my hometown. i love having times when you can go in and out of your house in your most worn out top or like floral shorts that makes it all so homely for u when you put them on because u have had them with you since like 15?
having no fear that some babes will judge u as a kampung girl or what but really...sometimes i would appreciate having the right place and right reason to dress up!

will my dear Sitiawan even make a step forward to fashion? hmmm....*thiking pose*

arrrghhhh.....okla..i admit...im desperate to go out & having the license to dress up! humph!
i think im officially kinda crazy! fashionably that is.

well..thats what happens to one when you have awful lotsa time to sit down & reflect bout your life!

maybe i should spend more time thinking something less bimbotic. haha! =p


























totally not related. just feel like posting a huge ass pic of me camwhoring! haha! =p

xoxo,
yvonne

found when lost

humans always take things for granted. as least in yvonneling's case.
i always take things for granted. just because those things are always available for me.
or some angels will be helping me to it...
or some angels will be helping me to solve my problems...
or some angels will be helping me to find the answers to my questions though some maybe really stewpid questions. ( but i disgress..i hold on to the saying that goes no question is bad question! haha! *bluek* )
or somehow...it will be done.

be it that i asked others to help me..or some ppl are born with this great big heart that they r willing to help u with just bout anything! *counting her blessings*

like the bible says " ask and you will be given...."
so jst ask around sure got ppl will help u wan! ( it seems the chio-er u r..the easier it will be done. or if u have a good PR skills la. or u r damn good in begging others for help! =p )

thus..due to this..
i always take things for granted. because i always manage to find some good Samaritans to help me all the time! *sobs<<tears of joy!

let me give a list of those critical times :

- whenever my stewpididiotic laptop gives me problem & they r ALWAYS, really like always hapening like 3 days or so from the due date of my assignment. okla. i know its my fault for procrastinating my assignements to the very last minute..but..who doesnt right? haha! *pushing the ball to everyone*

-when i duno aniting bout car, whats wrong with car n whats with the button and all like i only discover the almighty smoking thingy( see i duno the name of that compartment! )
can actually be used to plug in your phone charger & your thumbdrive player this year when my bro & sis started using them! *enlightment*

-when i duno anything bout phone like how to send mms or where is the camera button *camwhores*

-when i duno where & how to find that particular thing from the internet. i am always asking ppl where to find this la...or give example my latest attempt to download the most important forms for my uni's hostel thingy..i tried. n actually downloaded the wrong thing. =( so i had to ask the thing from my friend. after spending hours to figure out how to download it. haiz.

-when i need to c doc. you see..the problem with me is that..i duno that i am sick. HAHA! isnt this like the funniest thing ever. like seriously...i duno that i am having fever untill my friends or my parents tell me bout it when i complain bout feeling unwell. flu i know la. cuz got flu mah! but fever...its tricky. cuz i always got confused as to whether i am having fever or just headache. ok u can stop being amazed at my super power of not being able to know when i am not sick, sick or really sick. HAHA! =p

-when i duno what war is going on between who and what causes the war to broke out. i seriosuly duno or maybe dun care..cuz i find all thses things evil. they r cruel. people starved,orphaned,killed,tortured etc etc. its depressing to read them but once in a while...i do ask around just to be updated. or maybe increase my knowledge on geography. this could also be the reason why i fail at war n all cuz my geography sucks. *shy*

-when i duno bout politics. i kinda hate hearing or knowing bout politics cuz they make u take sides. they make u judge people. they make u see the ugly truth or reality of politics and all. okla.i dowana go that far. like i said i just dun like politics but again...at times..i would force myself to understand what's going so that i know what is going on. haha! =p

-when i cant find where the toilet is . obviously this happens in the shopping malls ! lol. i am that kinda person who always feel like i wana go toilet. sometimes..i feel like...kenot. my bladder will burst if i dun go...den when i go..its like a rat's amout of pee. ==''' this is what we call think too much. or just a bad sense of peeing?

-when i am surviving on jacob biscuits in my hostel. i am a person who will not and wont climb all the way down my room in my hostel which is located on the 3rd floor all the way down to buy me some food if i am feeling lazy. if im hungry n i dun feel like going out..i will just munch whatever that is in my foodie cupboard and the worse case of all would be jacob biscuits. so yea..i rather eat biscuits maybe to make it more luxurious i will make myself a cup of milo n dats it. one meal. so i am very very dependent on some angels to send me food. haha! =p

-when i emo. emo noned to explain. u get what i wana say. when u feel sad & depressed u just want some ppl to be there to listen to you whining and pouring your heart out.

-when i am deprived of entertainment. very important. i sometimes feel that i dun have much friend. well i shall keep that for another blog post. neway..i have been really blessed that most of the time when i ask ppl out..they do come out! wheee~ deprived of entertainment will make yvonne a bitter girl! =p

okla..enough of examples..u get what i mean. i know..i know..i make myself sound so bimbotic n all..for not knowing bout most things. T___T

so my point is..there has always been so many people who have been so important in my life. sometimes..i forgot how lucky i am. i take them for granted. i do not see how important these people are in my life. i cry over other people who hurt my feelings but i never take time to see the great people around me. those who not only laugh with me..but also cried with me.

i am reflecting on myself very much lately...i want to improve myself. i dont want others to say that i take things for granted. most of all...i dowana find myself crying over regretting to appreciate all these lovely people who have always been there for me whenever i needed them.

i dont want to find them only when i am lost.

or missing somebody so much that it breaks my heart that they cannot be available with just one sms or one call.

things will definitely not be the same.